Kevin: Dad I recall you telling me a story once about a friend of yours. He came home early and caught his wife in bed with another man. After she got caught, she had the nerve to tell your friend that only one of their kids belonged to him – the other three are the man that she had just gotten caught with.
Dad: Yeah, I remember that. Everyone in the neighborhood remembers that (laughing). The guy kinda lost it after that, always walking around in a daze, looking like he was in a trance – after I saw that, I knew that I would NEVER give my heart to a woman. Nope, not me. I didn’t want to get hurt like that, ever.
Kevin: Do you think that’s why some men like to have more than one woman ?
Dad: I don’t know son. They just do it. That guy got married about six months after and the new wife did the same thing to him! I seen too much, I seen to much – that would never be me, I wouldn’t let that happen to me.
Kevin: So you never got your heart broken? You never been in love?
Dad: No. I love my mother I love my sons, that’s it. I can’t do it, I can’t love a woman My father was heavily involved in drugs for years. Anyone who knows what it’s like to live with a drug addict is aware of all that entails. I witnessed him abuse my mother. I watched silently as my mother robbed Peter to pay Paul so that she can make ends meet month after month. I watched my father go from being the man that I love and admire to being a totally different person within a matter of minutes. As a child, I was confused, hurt and angered by this. As a man, I realize that the drugs were what caused the changes in my father.
Kevin: How old were you when you got married?
Dad: I was 18 and your mother was 19
Kevin: What made you want to marry her?
Dad: I went to visit her at her house, and I liked the way she and her mother lived; they were clean. They had a nice home.
Kevin: That made you want to marry her?
Dad: Yeah, that and she was the right color. I liked light skinned girls. I never wanted to have a dark skinned child.
This book is titled Daddy I’m the man you could have been. Not because I am bitter that he didn’t provide us with a fairytale childhood, and not because we didn’t have all things material that we wanted. My father taught me a lot through the things he did and the things he didn’t do. It was because of my father that I came to recognize what makes a person a success. I believe in education, common sense and courage, and that having two of the three will guarantee a person success. My father could have been a success, he was certainly no stranger to hard work. But he either refused to or simply didn’t recognize it within himself. I am the man that my father could have been because I listened, I watched and I learned from my father in ways that words could never truly articulate.
Then i had to ask myself :
Kevin, are you in love?
Kevin: I know what love feels like and i know how to love. I’m not afraid of love.
Why did you write this book?
Kevin: Because I want to remind people that although you may not have had the greatest childhood its important that we look deep down into ourselves and really understand and believe in our worth. Be sure that we not only strive to be better than our parents, but to strive to be better as a whole. It’s about building a legacy, one that me and my family can be proud of.